Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
