my mouth tastes like poor choices
I smell stomach acid.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
