What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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