In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
