I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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