she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
