I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
