how can u be prego again
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
