I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
