Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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