Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
