you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
