We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
