as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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