I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
