I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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