Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
