Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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