he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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