never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
