Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
