PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
