What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
