The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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