i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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