why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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