I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
