I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
