Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
