i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
ttyl tear gas
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i think my cat just said my name.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
