you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
