We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
