Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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