doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Congratulations! We have a period
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
