he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
