Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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