high people should be assigned attendants
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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