Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
