bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
