Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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