She went from zero to smokin in five shots
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
