FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
