I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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