bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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