fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I wish there were birth control emojis
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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