are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
