It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Enjoy the penises
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
