Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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