but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
cat food counts as protein by the way
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
