guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
