all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
