ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
